For many, retirement represents a new chapter; a time to do things you didn’t have time for in your previous life. Retreat is for crossing things off your bucket list and adjusting your pace, whether that means slowing down or speeding up. If you’re retiring alone, you may face unique challenges and opportunities in terms of designing and implementing your retirement game plan.
If you are single by choice and are comfortable being alone, retirement can be a breeze. Enjoying your own company will serve you well. You can plan and participate in various activities on your own terms, without having to consider a partner’s preferences or schedule. Sure, compromise and flexibility are needed when dealing with friends, family, or fellow travelers, but most of the time you’re freer to do whatever you want.
If you’re single by default, meaning you’re widowed, divorced, or haven’t found the “chosen one,” retirement can be challenging. If you believe that being single is synonymous with loneliness and being a fifth wheel, you are preparing for a gloomy retirement. Plus, you may be missing out on all that retirement has to offer, regardless of your relationship status. Lonely does not equal lonely.
Being introverted or extroverted can also impact your retirement experience, especially if you’re on your own. If you’re an extrovert, participating in group activities, making new friends, and interacting with strangers will be a breeze. But for a introvert, this kind of situation can be intimidating. Bringing along a buddy for moral support to act as a buffer between you and the things that make you uncomfortable is a good idea.
Now let’s kick things into high gear with these solo navigation tools and strategies.
1. With a little help from your friends
Humans are inherently social beings and research has shown that as we age, we do better in the regular company of others. That doesn’t mean you have to socialize 24/7, but being too alone can be detrimental to your health, well-being, and longevity. A strong social network is a key component of a satisfying and fulfilling retirement.
One of my solo coaching clients, “Jan”, was an introvert struggling in retirement. In contrast, her friend, “Peggy”, had a wide circle of friends. Jan’s goal was to ask Peggy to include him in social gatherings from time to time. It turns out that Jan hit it off with two of Peggy’s friends and now sees them regularly. Although she had been introduced to them before, this time she made a concerted effort to connect on a deeper level.
If there ever was a time to step out of your comfort zone and take risks, it’s retirement. Start by strengthening your existing friendships/relationships by staying in touch regularly. Call/text regularly and be proactive in extending meeting invitations. Remember that each of your friends has their own social network, so try to take advantage of it as much as possible. It worked for Jan!
2. It takes a village
What better way to make friends, learn something new, and expand your horizons than by taking advantage of what your community has to offer? Many communities have a variety of venues that offer classes, workshops, conferences, clubs, groups, and other types of activities that bring people together. It’s a great way to meet kindred spirits, that is, people with whom you have common interests.
To start, ask yourself, “What did I always want to do, but never had the time to do before I retired? » Make a list, then start working on it. Your community may have activities you can connect to. Retirement is a great time to take up a hobby or devote even more time to an existing hobby. Why not get involved in local politics, join a club or volunteer? Each of these activities provides opportunities to connect with others. Now that COVID has become less of a threat, in-person programs are becoming more common.
If you’re not sure how to find what you’re looking for, check your local senior center, fitness center, adult education center, college/university, community center, park district, or library. Don’t forget to explore the resources of nearby communities as well. Getting involved in these types of activities not only provides fun and a sense of purpose, but it helps you build and expand your social network.
3. Don’t ignore the workplace
If work is part of your retirement plan, remember that your co-workers and other people you interact with are a pool of potential friends. Some workplaces even have their own social network. Take note of the people with whom you have shared positive interactions. They may be willing to join you for a coffee break or lunch hour. Shared breaks, lunches or working together on a project can be the basis of a future friendship.
Be proactive by attending or even organizing social events at work. Attending and planning these events gives you the opportunity to interact with your colleagues and others on a more personal level. You already have something in common thanks to your shared employer, which is the basis for establishing a personal connection. Make it a goal to make at least one friend at work.
4. Birds of a feather travel together
Many retirees have the time and freedom to travel more frequently and explore exciting new destinations. If you are alone, you may be reluctant to travel alone, but more and more retirees are doing it. Traveling alone is increasingly becoming the norm, especially among baby boomer women. Leave it to us to break down barriers in this arena as well!
While retirees in general travel alone more often, many still prefer to travel in the company of other people. The good news is that you have a choice. One of the easiest solutions is to connect with a travel buddy, someone who shares the same travel interests and is on the same page in terms of personal preferences. More than one buddy is even better.
Group travel is another option. senior centers, AARP, travel agencies, and other places offer group vacations with all the details, like an itinerary, airline reservations, hotel, and amenities included. All you have to do is pay and you’re on your way. Community centers also sponsor group day trips to local destinations accessible by bus or train. Traveling alone has never been easier.
5. Find the one (and done!)
If you’d rather have a significant other accompany you on your retirement journey, there are plenty of online dating services dedicated to those who are single by default, rather than by design. If you prefer meeting people the old-fashioned way, let your family and friends know you’re ready to be introduced. Bottom line, if finding “the one” is a top priority, stop wishing and start doing!
Here is a short list of dating sites that have proven useful for many of my coaching clients:
While challenges may arise as a solo retiree, the good news is that it gets easier. Resources designed to serve and support retirees have evolved to better meet their needs. Whether you’re single by choice, by chance, or by default, you can make this the best chapter of your life yet. It’s about being open to the opportunities around you and seeing solo retirement as a valid and viable option.
For more ways to live life to the fullest in retirement, check out these stories: